Denied

Crossing into England, I head up to the Liverpool airport passport check in. Molding into the non-national cue, I fill out a quick form stating my name, occupation and nationality. Being a kiwi and part of the common wealth, I figure no problems and before long I find myself at the desk handing my form to a smiling blonde woman with perfect teeth. The kind of lady you want to trust. The kind you’d liketo get to know.

“Where have you come from today?” she asks.
“Vienna, oops, I mean Florence. But I flew out from Pisa airport” I reply
“And what is your reason for visiting the UK?”
“I’ve come over for a friend’s birthday on the Isle of Man”
“How long do you intend to stay for?”
“Um, not sure really. We’ll say 30 days but it won’t be that long”
“Do you have a flight out?”
“No. I might get a lift out from London with a trucky driver I know who does weekly trips to Holland”
“So after England you are heading to Holland?”
“Um, not sure. Might go to Holland or maybe Germany or I might go visit Ireland or Scotland while I’m in this neck of the woods. Hard to say. My travel is pretty spontaneous at the moment. I’m doing my big O.E”
“And who’s paying for all this travel?”
“Myself mostly, I’ve saved all my life”

At this point she outright laughs at me! And most of my answers have been followed by her looking at me with big questioning eyes. So to make her feel better I offer up…

“Oh, I will work a bit at some stage. Maybe in Norway or Germany.”
“You have a visa?”
“No but my dad is a British citizen and so I’m hoping to get a British passport. Then I can work in the EU without issue”
“And when do you plan to do this?”
“What?”
“Get a passport”
“Oh, I’m doing it now”

New tack…

“And where will you stay while you are here?”
“The ferry to the Isle leaves at 2pm and only goes from Heysham, so I’ll go stay in Manchester tonight with a girl I know and then head to the Isle tomorrow”
“How long have you known this girl?”
“I met her in Laos for 3 days”
“Oh”

This said with a very, “Oh, that kind of knowing a girl” voice. Then it was back to playing 20 questions…

“How old is your friend turning”
“23 I think”
“When is his birthday?”
“His birthday is the 16^th but the party is on the 19^th”
“And he’s British?”
“No, he’s from New Zealand and he’s also French I think”
“French and New Zealand?”
“Yeah?”
“How long has he been here for?”
“Dunno, maybe a year or so? Not to sure really”

I honestly expected her to ask me what colour underwear he had on next! But instead she kindly asks me to go and sit down on the other side of the room. So I go and join three Chinese people who were also questioned at length and it is about now that I finally realize that this is like on T.V. Only it’s real. It actually happens. And I might not actually be allowed into the country! Jeeebus!

So I sit for like 20 minutes, watching her talk with all these officials and security guys. I’m just blown away at this point. I’ve just come through 6 European countries without a passport needing to be shown and now this! So I get out my friend’s numbers in case that will help sway her and then I look up to see her approaching.

“Ok”, she says, “We’re gonna let you in but next time don’t mention anything about working anywhere. Ok?”
“Um, ok? Laters”

Then I was through and off to find my ‘3 day, “oh” Laos girl friend’.